The creation of the Outernet

by Parvez Sheik Fareed

Dear Employees

As you know Q4 is the busiest time of the year. We need to stay focused in order to achieve all our objectives. It’s like the current situation with my wife: enduring agony because she keeps nagging me about the Christmas gifts she wants. But what’s the gift that will take this glorious, wonderful, uber-galactical company to the next level? I don’t know. Being the Chief Figuring It Out I decided to meet with some consultants. They wore dark suits and button-down shirts; an indication of a profound understanding regarding complex business matters. So I hired them. I briefed them to pave the road for our future success, building up on our previous accomplishments:

The time we realised the times will be more difficult
The time I took up my new position as CFIO
The time we introduced SuperSquare
The time we initiated the next next big thing
My personal leadership diary

All these outstanding achievements have made this company what it is today: the world’s best company in terms of everything. Yet there’s still a lot to be done. The consultants’ analysis revealed a groundbreaking insight: there are only two kind of webs available to customers, the Internet and spiderwebs. We realised that an Outernet doesn’t exist. Why is that? Simply because of its meaning: outer is beyond the existing. That’s why we are going to create the Outernet and outsmart our competitors once again. We are going to be the only company present on the Outernet. And once our customers know of the Outernet it will be very easy for them to purchase our products there.

Do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions regarding this marvellous milestone.

Best regards
Your CFIO