JABJAB

A blog in pink font.

Month: February, 2014

How bullshit got commercialised

A man went for a walk. He passed a field on which a bull was browsing. The bull looked at him and took a dump.
“My God, that’s some bullshit,” the man thought.
He called a friend and said: “You won’t believe this, but I’ve just seen some serious bull shit!”
“No shit?” his friend asked.
“Nah mate, a bull shit!” the man said, “Come and see for yourself!”
“Holy shit!” his friend said when he saw the bullshit.
The bull took another dump.
“I think the bull’s name is Holly. But perhaps it can’t distinguish between ‘Holly’ and ‘Holy’,” the man said.
“Let’s try this then,” the friend said.
“Holy, shit!” the man said looking at the bull.
The bull took another dump.
“This is amazing,” the friend said, “we are on some serious bullshit.”
“Are you shitting me?” the man asked.
“Not at all. Let’s capitalise on this bullshit,” his friend said.
“And how would we do that?” the man asked.
“Everyone is complaining about some shit not working. We can approach them and sell them some massive bullshit,” his friend explained.
“But why would they buy this bullshit?” the man asked.
“Because it’s not just some bullshit. We can brand it ‘Holly’s shit’,” the friend explained.
“Holy shit!” the man yelled, thrilled by the idea.
The bull took another dump.
“But what if they buy it and it doesn’t solve their problems?” the man asked his friend.
“That doesn’t matter,” the friend said, “we can always blame it on the bullshit.”

Analysis v. thinking

The following joke nicely points out the difference between people who have the annoying habit to analyse every single detail but can’t figure out the real problem as opposed to those who will disregard the details and see through things.

Sherlock Holmes is out on Dartmoor with Dr Watson on a case and they’re camping. The next day they have to get up and look for clues to solve the case. At about 3 in the morning Dr Watson gets nudged awake by Sherlock Holmes. Holmes says to him: “Watson, Watson! Look at the stars. What can you deduce from the stars?”
Watson says: “Well, horologically I deduce it’s about 4 a.m. Meteorologically I deduce it’s a clear sky, so it will be good for our quest tomorrow. Astrologically I deduce the Cancer is in Leo which is a promising sign for our quest tomorrow. Astronomically I deduce there are an infinite numbers of stars. And theologically I deduce that there must be a God to make such a wonderful, great universe! Why, Holmes, what do you deduce?” And Holmes says: “Someone has stolen our tent.”

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