A Message from the CFIO

by Parvez Sheik Fareed

Today’s post is a continuation of our free online leadership course.

Dear Employees

As usual we are looking towards tremendously difficult times. But due to your daily engagement I am confident that we are prepared to face any challenge. Your contribution to our [INSERT ORGANISATION] makes me proud; so proud that I would like to adopt you. Unfortunately the General Counsel has informed me that this is not possible due to legal restrictions.

In our recent Group Executive Leadership meeting we discussed how we can excel as one [INSERT ORGANISATION] and secure our market-leading position. After three days of critical analysis and team-bondage bonding activities we finally had the answer: we need to figure it out.

I am excited to announce that as of this very moment figuring it out will be part of our culture, our daily work and our lunch breaks.

As you can imagine, figuring it out will require some drastic changes for the greater good of this company. Allow me to brief you:

1. New role as Chief Figuring It Out (CFIO)

I am resigning from my role as CEO, effective immediately and taking up the new role as CFIO, effective immediately. At press conferences I am now able to answer questions by solely using my title, here are two examples:

“[INSERT ORGANISATION] is having difficulties entering the emerging markets; how will you tackle this matter?” – “I’m the Chief Figuring It Out.”

“Certain shareholders have raised their concerns regarding the financial investments the company has made. Do you intend to change the strategy?” – “I’m the Chief Figuring It Out.”

2. New organisational chart

Figuring it out shall be lived and fostered in our culture. Hence we will adapt our organisational charts by no longer limiting it to rectangles. We will use triangles, circles, octagons and many more shapes.

For this purpose I have initiated a group-wide steering committee that will figure out the appropriate figures. This profound transformation will position [INSERT ORGANISATION] as a true game changer and make this company a great and innovative global player.

It is an exciting time for all of us, and we can all be very proud to take part in figuring it out.

Best regards