Let’s talk about pussy

by Parvez Sheik Fareed

Today’s post contains explicit language. Parental advisory is highly recommended. Or your pet’s presence if it is older than you. Some sort of legal guardian must be present. Here at the Global HQ of the world’s most unknown agency we do give an act of sexual intercourse about moral and similar stuff. It would be utterly negligent of us if we didn’t.

Let’s talk about pussy. Pussy is an energy drink based in the UK. And as DJ Quik once stated that money and pussy make the world go round, Pussy made the Advertising Authority Standards (ASA) go round last month. In circles.

Pussy had an ad running saying “The drink’s pure. It’s your mind that’s the problem.” The ad got banned by the ASA.

The “rationale” in the ASA’s ruling:

“(…) made express reference to the dual meaning of the word “pussy”, (…)  it would be understood to be intended as a sexually explicit reference which, in the context in which it appeared (…)”

and

“(…) understood by some older children to be intended as an offensive or sexually explicit reference (…) unsuitable to appear where it could be seen by children.” 

Did the ad make reference to the dual meaning of the word pussy? Yes. But you can’t ban something for being a fact, in this case the “dual meaning”. The ASA fails to understand that it’s not the ad that is the problem, it’s the mind. And this is exactly what the ad is saying. So the ASA bases its ruling on the logic of what the ad is saying. By ruling against Pussy Drinks the ASA confirms what the ad says. This is some twisted shit. And a total lack of objective rationale in my opinion.

The context in this ad is the mind of people. The mind per se. And since it’s a context that is solely existing in its own and is not discriminatory, this ruling is rubbish.

The second “rationale”:

“(…) understood by some older children to be intended as an offensive or sexually explicit reference (…) unsuitable to appear where it could be seen by children.” 

Seriously, in what context exactly? Right, the mind per se, again.

At some point kids encounter dirty language when they grow up. They hear it and they use it. It is very likely that teenagers use the word pussy in their environment in a context referring to its sexual meaning. But the ad can’t be understood differently by a younger audience. Because the context of the single dual meaning in the mind remains the same, be it grown-ups or older children. Same fuzzy logic again.

Behind closed doors I guess it went like this:

“It is true what these Pussy Drink guys are saying, but it somehow just doesn’t seem right. We can’t find any logical reason apart from.. hmm.. yeah what, actually? Henry, do you have a suggestion how we could fill in the blanks?”  – “No sir, I’m afraid not.” – “Fuck it, let’s just ban the bloody thing.” – “I think it’s the right thing to do, sir.” – “Absolutely, Henry, in the name of moral it is the right thing to do.”  Later that day in the afternoon: “Henry, would you mind going to the shop quickly and get me a drink of Pussy? I’d like to taste it.” – “Yes sir, immediately. Pussy it is.”

This ruling is based on moral. But moral can’t be a substitute for the lack of objectivity.