A blog in pink font.

Month: May, 2013

More strategy

Similar to the Corporate Centre of the world’s most unknown blog, the Global HQ of the world’s most unknown agency has a very simple strategy in place. It’s a quote by Winston Churchill:

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Now some MBA big shot might argue that a quote can’t be a strategy. I argue: yes it can, I just said so.

Quotes have the power of conveying a message in a very short fashion. No lengthy explanation of who, what, how, where. Just a few simple words making one important thing: sense.

Quotes challenge you. You think. You start looking at situations from a different angle, allowing you to come up with fresher ways of solving problems. You get things done.

And last but not least: quotes are the only strategies that do not require a regular update. Quotes are timeless.

But in many cases it’s the opposite:

Companies have a lengthy strategy in place. The wording is complex. In order to understand the wording appendices are needed. And so forth.

In the meanwhile: life happens. Something occurs that wasn’t planned. But instead of tackling life you immediately start tailoring the strategy. You update it. And then life happens again. And so forth.

At some point updating the strategy has become your primary task and you are still on square one, not really moving in any direction. And you will always be one step behind. Behind yourself.

Now what’s the fucking sense of that, please?

That’s why we prefer quotes.

New strategy

I started this blog for two reasons:

  1. As opposed to the success stories in retrospect I wanted to provide an authentic depiction of what it’s like when you start your own company, in our case the world’s most unknown agency.
  2. I began to question the purpose of learning the sentence “Could I please have a cup of coffee instead of a cucumber?” in 50 different languages. So I decided to invest my time more wisely.

In the meanwhile I have come to the conclusion that our “daily” entrepreneurial challenges are simply not that interesting that they would allow some sort of weekly blogging regarding our business related endeavours. In agreement with the Group Executive Committee of the world’s  most unknown blog we therefore have adjusted our strategy. Now this change is exciting news, so you better hold tight. But first we’d like to express our sincere gratitude to our fictitious, stunning PA Samantha who was in charge of typing up our revelation after several hours of power point presentations. But enough talk, here’s the new strategy: Thou shalt write whatever thou want.

New strategy, new challenges.

I believe if there’s nothing to be said it’s best to remain silent. Saying something for the sake of saying something is witless. It is usually done by people who’d clone themselves if they could.

The challenge is to remain patient in an observing mode. And trust that in due course an idea will pop up, resulting in a new post.

Quality vs. continuity.

In my opinion quality is more important than continuity. Because at the end of the day quality stands out. Not continuity. If you focus on continuity it will become a routine. And routine is deadly for thinking. It makes your thinking lazy. Ticking the box.

Ever paid close attention to a boxing match? A proper boxer will remain patient, waiting for the right moment to jab. Quality. A sloppy boxer will not bother to wait, he will throw punches pretty much uncontrolled. Continuity.

The question is: who will make it on the long run?

Since I have nothing more to say for now I shall rest in silence.

Welcome to JABJAB.

Let’s talk about pussy

Today’s post contains explicit language. Parental advisory is highly recommended. Or your pet’s presence if it is older than you. Some sort of legal guardian must be present. Here at the Global HQ of the world’s most unknown agency we do give an act of sexual intercourse about moral and similar stuff. It would be utterly negligent of us if we didn’t.

Let’s talk about pussy. Pussy is an energy drink based in the UK. And as DJ Quik once stated that money and pussy make the world go round, Pussy made the Advertising Authority Standards (ASA) go round last month. In circles.

Pussy had an ad running saying “The drink’s pure. It’s your mind that’s the problem.” The ad got banned by the ASA.

The “rationale” in the ASA’s ruling:

“(…) made express reference to the dual meaning of the word “pussy”, (…)  it would be understood to be intended as a sexually explicit reference which, in the context in which it appeared (…)”


“(…) understood by some older children to be intended as an offensive or sexually explicit reference (…) unsuitable to appear where it could be seen by children.” 

Did the ad make reference to the dual meaning of the word pussy? Yes. But you can’t ban something for being a fact, in this case the “dual meaning”. The ASA fails to understand that it’s not the ad that is the problem, it’s the mind. And this is exactly what the ad is saying. So the ASA bases its ruling on the logic of what the ad is saying. By ruling against Pussy Drinks the ASA confirms what the ad says. This is some twisted shit. And a total lack of objective rationale in my opinion.

The context in this ad is the mind of people. The mind per se. And since it’s a context that is solely existing in its own and is not discriminatory, this ruling is rubbish.

The second “rationale”:

“(…) understood by some older children to be intended as an offensive or sexually explicit reference (…) unsuitable to appear where it could be seen by children.” 

Seriously, in what context exactly? Right, the mind per se, again.

At some point kids encounter dirty language when they grow up. They hear it and they use it. It is very likely that teenagers use the word pussy in their environment in a context referring to its sexual meaning. But the ad can’t be understood differently by a younger audience. Because the context of the single dual meaning in the mind remains the same, be it grown-ups or older children. Same fuzzy logic again.

Behind closed doors I guess it went like this:

“It is true what these Pussy Drink guys are saying, but it somehow just doesn’t seem right. We can’t find any logical reason apart from.. hmm.. yeah what, actually? Henry, do you have a suggestion how we could fill in the blanks?”  – “No sir, I’m afraid not.” – “Fuck it, let’s just ban the bloody thing.” – “I think it’s the right thing to do, sir.” – “Absolutely, Henry, in the name of moral it is the right thing to do.”  Later that day in the afternoon: “Henry, would you mind going to the shop quickly and get me a drink of Pussy? I’d like to taste it.” – “Yes sir, immediately. Pussy it is.”

This ruling is based on moral. But moral can’t be a substitute for the lack of objectivity.

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